Y’ALL I’m getting married! Bae came home from the cottage two weeks ago after being there with his buddies for five days and said, “I’m really just over not being married to you.” So I said “cool cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt no doubt” and definitely didn’t cry after saying “samesies”. But in all seriousness, OMG WE’RE GETTING HITCHED WE COULDN’T BE MORE HAPPY AND EXCITED.
Now, most of you will remember that I spent about 2.5 years working at Bed Bath and Beyond, and about a year and a half of that time working in the Bridal and Gift Registry department. And my love language is definitely giving gifts. Ya girl loves giving gifts, and feels very strongly RE: wedding registries. So of course when my lovely Aunt let me know that she would like to host a shower for us, I was just chuffed at finally being able to create a registry for MYSELF!!!!! What a treat.
Okay, so some of you may be thinking to yourselves right now, “Emma, why do I need a registry? We don’t need any stuff, and we’re asking for money from our guests,” or “Emma, isn’t it a little *rude* to *ask* for *gifts*?” And so, my sweet summer child, let me tell you why a registry is a beautiful idea, and works well for almost everyone:
1) I don’t wanna crush your dreams or anything, but people are going to purchase gifts for you *whether you ask for them or not*, so wouldn’t you rather have things that you actually like or need instead of a bunch of random junk that *other people* think you need? And from a place that you actually shop and like the things they sell???? My parents ended up with three toasters, after my Mum was given SIX SHOWERS. That is approximately two toasters too many.
2) Some of your guests will feel uncomfortable with the idea of “envelope” gifts only. Some of us really like the process of choosing a gift, and feel really weird about attaching a literal actual number dollar value to the relationship. It can also cause tension among your guests when they inevitably get into asking eachother how much they’re giving. Now you may be thinking, “okay but don’t you have the same issue with gifts?” and to you I say, not always because value of a gift is not always measured by the dollar amount spent on it. I know there are many cultures where envelope gifts are customary across the board for everyone, and to you I say, GET IT BABY. However for those of you who are not a part of one of those cultures, having a registry gives your guests who want to get you a physical thing (for whatever reason) the opportunity to do that, without having to do a bunch of guess work. It also gives something for people who are only coming to a shower and not the wedding something to do for a gift for you!
3) No, it is absolutely not rude to ask for gifts. Working in the industry really showed me that many people have NO IDEA where to start when it comes to choosing a wedding gift gift, even if it’s someone that knows you well. People who have known you for years may still not have a damn clue what your taste in home decor is. Not everyone is great at being creative when it comes to gifts! Your registry gives them a starting point of “safe” items that they know you’ll love (because you chose them!), and knowing where to shop gives them the asset of places where they’ll be able to have staff to help them select the perfect gift.
4) This is one of the only opportunities you have in your life to pick out and ask for the things you would absolutely love for your home, but wouldn’t necessarily be able to get for yourself, AND PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY GET THEM FOR YOU. People want to buy these things for you!!!! So you should dream big, and let them!!!!
5) And lastly, perhaps the most practical/logical reason: having a registry will help you to avoid getting too many or extras of any items! You choose the items, and you request the quantity, AND THEN IT GETS TAKEN OFF THE LIST SO NO ONE ELSE BUYS IT. It’s beautiful in its efficiency, really. Of course, this isn’t 100% foolproof, because people don’t always follow the instructions properly. But when it works, it really works.
Well friends, this is by no means an exhaustive listicle. These are just my own personal points, based on my experience working with couples on their registries, and helping wedding guests select gifts both for couples who have registries and those who do not.
Stay tuned for more in this series! Would love to hear your registry thoughts and experiences!